Chapter 1279932

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Chapter NumberXII - XV
Chapter TitleHAGAR, THE GIPSY.
Chapter Url
Full Date1867-02-02
Page Number3
Word Count10503
Last Corrected0000-00-00
Newspaper TitleThe Brisbane Courier (Qld. : 1864 - 1933)
Trove TitleGrantford Grange
article text





FIVE minutes after Lionel's departure, Simoon Blix had caught the down train and was on his woy to Albany. Ho looked very palo still and had a terrified expression on his countenance, -such as ono might expect to seo on that of a thief who foarod detection. What he feared, however, it was impossible to guess, for he Bat throughout the journey quite silent ; his ooat buttoned to his ohin ; his head bent upon his breast, and his hat slouched ovor his eyes. And when at last ho arrived at his destination, ho left the cars and made the raoBt of every moment until he reached a row of shabby houses evidently tenanted by the poorest class of


There his ioot lingorod and his oye wandered over the dingy numbers on tho doors.

"Number 9-the first -room on the third floor," ho muttered. " This is the placo. Hope none of my acquaintances aro hereabouts, for it don't look over fashionable, and I wouldn't like to bo seen goin' in. Toin't as if I was bom a swell, and brought up one all along. I've got to fight for my stand, I havo ; though I'll havo it yet."

As he spoke, Sim. Blix looked around un- easily and glided into the low doorwith a quick step. Ascending the stairs, he paused at tho door which carno first on the third floor and knocked ; and obedient to his summons, it was instantly opened, and as quiekly shut and lockod again, and Sim. stood beside a tall, dark wo- man, whoso handsome lips curlod in a smile of triumph ns the two exchanged glances.

"Thelasttrick succeeded; I Boe that, whothor I am able to read tho stars or no ; I seo it in your eyes, Siro They found tho body."

C7 "Yes," "oraed Simeon Blix. "AB far as I

"can toll, nobody doubts that the young un thoy piokod up was Otho Grontford.« If they'd an idea it was only the little tramp, Lot Absan, that broke his neck on the tight-rope at a i '.pus, I expect they'd havo loft it where thoy \ und it. But" there's to bo a grand funeral iiow, and the search will end with that. You're as safe to koop the brat as if you had him on the other side of the herring pond."

"They sha'n't toko'him from mo very easy, Sim.," said the woman. "Not very. 'Tisn't thati'm'so desperate fond of him-though I am proud of him, too ; but I'd a right, and it made _,nie mad enough to think of having a child of " mine cooped up in brick walls and sleeping in

poison in-door air. I had a time getting him too-rfo'r I had to take care I wasn't seen where I wag'kno'wn, though old Aggy had been up to the Çfongo a lot o' times twlin' fortunes to tho servants, and had talked to the child 'til his hoad wttB full of running off and being a gipsy. She "found out thoy wore going to tho Lake that day, and told me. Thero's lonely places along there, and I knew I could manage some- how, but I came near missing it, for what did I do but como face to face with the young lady ona the tutor. I protended to bo asleep, but they waked me up, and I juBt managed to get off before the governess rode up. The girl don't know me, but she does. Old Agg had had a talk with the boy, and ho hod promised to find a chance to get away and talk to ho*. And behold,.what did thoy do but leave him alono and make it as easy as if they wanted to holp me. Ho carno like a lamb. Says Agg :

" ' Well, master, would you hko to bo a gipsy boy?'

" Says ho :

'"Bettor than anything else. I'd have no

books, would I?'

" ' Never a book,' says Agg.

" ' Hurrah !' says ho, aud ho came in a minute. ' Only they'll cry about me,' ho soys, ' and I bato to make them cry.'

" He's a beauty, Sim., and like mo, if I do say it ; and now I want to ask you o question. What inakes you take such a mighty interest in all this? How can it do you any good ?"

" Friendship, Hagar," said Sim.-" friend- ship and auld lang syne, you know."

"Nonsense," said the woman. "Iknow you, Sim. Blix, and I know how much you care for other people. You havo a motive."

" Well, Buppose I havo, Hagar," repliod the young man-"that's nothing to you. It chimes in with your motive ; you always wonted tho


" I don't know that," said tho woman ; " but when you told mo how he'd bo brought up-a groat gentleman, to hate his gipsy mother and how they were setting him against mo as much as they could, my blood boiled ; and, after I'd opmo to see him on the sly, and saw gipsy written all over him, and felt ho was my own and not the little whito-focod thing I thought ho might be, I guess I know how a tigress feels when her young aro stole from her. I ain't soft-hoarted, and I hate them that do harm to me so that I could kill them and nover repent it; but thero's something hero that tells me that's my boy."

She put hor hand on her heaving bosom and looked down into the fire whioh burnt, in tho grato near whÄh they stood. Her hair, lying in great glossy waves low on hor forehead, took purple gleams in tho warm light. Her cheeks were all aglow, her lips puro scarlet.

She was a splondid creature to look upon, and her beauty was of tho kind that best suited

Simeon Blix.

" You're a pretty woman, Hagar," he said..

" Tell roe nows,.Sim.-do," sho answored. , " You aro," said Sim. " I wonder you didn't itay at the Grango, after taking all the trouble to got there. You made big eyes at the Squire and came the soft and sweet over him ; and when you was his wife why didn't you koop hold of your good luck ?"

" I'll toll you, Sim.," said the woman. " I'd as lief tell as not, so don't feel flattered by the confidence. He tried to train me to perform a good deal like we do our pony in the ring. He seemed to be fond of me too ; but if was, ' Hagar, ladies don't do so,' and ' Hagar, ladies never Bay this,' ahd<' Hagar, when you're riding sit in Buch a fashion,' and 'Hagar, when you are walking don't think you aro on the tramp behind tho tinkers, but take little steps like tho ladies you soo ;' and I got wild and desperate. I couldn't mineo and prink, though I could have loved him heart and soul, and did, when he walked with mo under the trees and called me his ' queen ' and his ' beauty.' And first I coaxed him, and says I :

" ' Take mo as I am-gipsy blood and bono, and put up with me.'

" Then he'd grow soft again to me and say he hated the airs of the others, and he only advised me for my, sake. But when the baby carne-ayo, it was the day they were to name it -something happened that made him angry, and out he blurted ¡

" ' Old fool that I-was to give my son a gipsy mother to disgrace him, as wcU. as take a ijipsy wife to shame me every day of my life!' "

" I made a vow that I kept then, and I shook ihe dust from my feet outside the Grange gates before the sun went down, and I shook off with 't all the liking I had for Henry Grontford, and went back to the gipsy camp. I shan't leave it now likely, now I'm Eli Hod's wife. But, dis- place or not, no 'one can say I ever forgot the words the old minister said over us, or the promise I made ; and I nover looked at Eli nor listened to lum until Henry Grontford was iii his grave. He killed the love I had for him, ind never know what it was worth; but I never forgot I was his wife, if I was a gipsy, amongst kin who had no great fondness for laws of any kind. I like to live in tents, and I hate walls and roofs, and this is the last night we U,sleep under one for awhile, my boy vonder

and I." '

. " Yes, ho is yours, and you aro going to keep mm. That ought to bo comfort to you," said Sim. " i'¿ t"]j0 jjjuj awav ag s00n ft3 i 03uid if 1 was you, for nobody can tell who might come poking along ilerej an¿ Qtuo ia a j,^ ^ to manage, I have a notion, most as hard as you »re, Hagar."

"Kow I've answered your question, Sun.," said the woman, " and I want you to answer Tuje. Why did you help me ?"

" An't J"0" my half sister ?" said Sim.

Bah!" laughed the woman ; " I know that, *r fi, .w yoa made use of itr to cUmD nP ont 01 the gipsy tenta I love and you hate. Henry

Grantford, while ho was fond of me, would have done anything he could for the biggest thief of the tribo, if ho was kin to me, and you know it, child as you> wore, and como around him finely. You might hove bean tinkoring in lanes and fiolds to-day, instead of being in the great bank, with door knows what grond fellows, if I hadn't married as I did, but it isn't grati- tude for that, and it isn't that wo'vo tho samo mother, and you noedn't lie, Sim. Blix, unless you do it-for tho liking, for I'm not to be taken


Sim. looked defiant.

"You aro cuto enough, Hagar," ho said. "Woll, I have a motive, and what's more, I shan't tell you what it ia. I holped you to get the brat away, and I paid your chargos down and hired the rooms for you hero, and I've bought rigs for tho young un, and acted brotherly enough, Lord knows. Maybe I wouldn't if it hadn't been for my good, but what's that to you? Say thank ye, or don't say it, as you like, and ask no quoetions, It's waste of breath, for you can't expeot no answers. And soo here, you know, if I chango my mind, I could blow on you and spoil all. So got tho young un away as soon as possible."

The woman walked closer to Simeon Blix,

and laid her hand on his arm.

" Turn informor, and sot tho hounds on my track if you dare, Sim.," sho said. " I know things thot would-"

"Would what?" asked her half brother, turning palo.

A crafty look stole into Hagar's eyes. Sho laughed softly.

" I don't moan to tell you what," sho said. " Where's the use of quarrelling P It's to your interest not to lot tho thing out-that's plain, and as for throats, you know a gipsy always finds some revenge, botter than I tell you. You oan't drive the. gipsy blood out of your veins, or the momorios of gipsy life away no matter whero you livo, Sim. Blix. Wcfi, you havo helpodmo,andsoril say thank you, and good-bye. I'll bo off at daylight. Do you want

to seo tho child ?"

" I'll take a peep to pleaso you," said Sim. " So-he's aslcop."

As he'Bpoke he put his hoad into a little bod room, whero, amidst tho folds of an old scarlet coverlet, tossed carelessly over the unmade feather bed, lay the chubby form of little Otho


His floating OUI-IB hod boen oropped close to his head, and ho wore coarse, ill-mad o gar- ments, but nothing could greatly altor him.

The thought struok Sim. at ouco.

" You'd better keep bim out of sight for a year or two, Hogar," he said. " Thero never was but ono boy looked like that, and that's

Otho Grontford."

" Don't wake him," said Hagar. " Thoro, now, wo'vo hod onough of oach othor, and I must sleep until tho time to start, for I've a long tramp, before me, and must bo fresh for it. Good night.".

Sim, nodded and was gone, and Hagar, without undressing, flung herself on the bed.



SIMEON BLIX had other business that ovening on his hands-business that was important, if one might judge from hia countenance. Yet it took him only to a quiet little restaurant hard by, whero sundry reBpeetablo business men wore eating supper, and two colored waiterB, in white jackets and aprons, were endeavoring to perform the duties of at least a dozen. Thoro wore several Bnug boxes with red curtains hero, and to one of them Sim. betook himself, order- ing a hearty mool and sundry liquid accompani- ments, and "tolling the waitor to "show the gentleman who would ask for Mr. Blix into tho


For half an hour supper ocoupiod the gentle- man entirely, but when that waa over, tho newspaper which ho had piokod up failed en- tirely to calm his impatience.

More than onoo ho muttorod:

" Hang the follow. A'nt ho coming ? " and three several timas he summoned a waitor to in- quire if ho woro positive no ono had asked for


At last, just as Simeon had taken up his hat to go, the red curtain was lifted, and the waiter, with the words, " De geinplomum at last, sah," ushered in Dick Osprey.

The young man was handsomo still. His faoo retained its youthful color, his eyes woro bright, his figuro weU proportioned, his move- ments graceful, but reminding one, as thoso of some indolent people wiU, of the motions of Bomo sleepy kitten. A young man fond of his ease, prone to self-indulgonco, and with no strong will to combat evil promptings, though not prone to ovil naturally. This was what Dick Osprey looked, and this was what ho was, as good a tool for Simoon Blix as though ho had been made to order. ,

He sat down opposito Sim., and buried his hoad in InVhands, running his fingors through the long black hair, where thoy shimmered white and pink as porcelain.

As pretty as any girl ho lookod just thon, and as pettish as one could bo, and Sim. tho swarthy, loomed darker and uglier than over by


The latter was the first to speak.

" You look glum enough to-night, Dick," he

said. " What ails you ?

"Nothing'now," replied Dick. "I'm tired of life, that's all-sick and tired of it. I wouldn't livo another day-I swear I wouldn't -if I knew this sort of thing would last. Short of monoy, bothered by duns, plagued and pestered day and night. Confound it, when, as you've often said yoursolf, I ought to

master of the Grange. Mother was his iater, and if Aunt Beatrice- were living, sho would have made her appearance, and if sho hod had children, they would havo turned up before this, so, upon my word, it Beems hard. Confound old Roger Grontford and his will. Uncle Harry could hardly have kept a slice of the property from me if things hod taken their rogulor courso. It's worse and worse with mo every hour of my lifo, I can toll you, Sim."

" Old Crab been down on you for thom clothes," said Sim., lighting a cigar.

" Yes. I'd like to shoot him." ' " And Mrs. Grump ?"

"Hang her!" cried Dick. "She postered mo for a ' little on account,' until I told her I'd find board elsewhore. Then, bless you, she locked up my trunk and put a new man in my room. Not a shirt, Sim., until I pay her, ond you know how easy that is. My poor uncle did his best, I suppose, when ho put me in tho firm. Other men have gono up and made thoir fortunes ; I stay where I began-less chance for promotion, less trust and favor every year. But for tho foot that I was introduced as I was, I'd have been diamisBed long ogo. And tho truth is, I don't do my duty-I'm not energetic. I can't be a mathematical machine, nor a good business man. I hate it all. I shall throw my inkstand at somebody's head, and leave some day of my own accord, and then it's all up with me."

Sim. laughed.

"Laugh away," muttered Dick; "your pockets are full-you can afford it."

"So can you," said Sim. "Come, come, matters are at the worst, ond they'll mond the sooner. The darkest hour ia just before day."

"Dawn must be near, then,"-said Dick. "£ook here, Sim. I received a letter from Geraldine to-day-the third of the same kind. I'm a selfish mortal, but I can't stand thom. You must let her off, Sim. She can't marry you, by Jove ! I would'nt have a ^girl that, didn't love me tetter if she had tho hand- somest face and the greatest fortune going ; and ahe promises you shan't lose monoy by giving her up. There's the letter, Sim."

"Bother," said the gentleman. "Of courso she likes to make a fuss now and then. She'll Bettie down after she's married. You're a fool, Dick. -" Besides, you know now, if you was to rile me too much, what I could tell. I've kept a mighty black secret for you, Dick, and I'll keep on keepin' it so long as I aint riled-no longer."

Dick Osprey clenched his hands and set his


" I believe you know I tell the truth in that matter," he said.

" I never raised my hand against my un-


' Sim. lifted his finger.

'_' Hush ! Why do you want to tell tho waiters and whoever may be in tho next box what might bring you to an unpleasant end, you stupid fool?" ho whispored. "'Taint my affair; but I've a liking for you, and you're to bo my brother-in-law, you know, some day."

Dick regarded the speaker with a disgust whioh, for tho moment, amountod almost to loathing.

"Hang you," ho said, "bo content with tho girl'B monoy. I wont sacrifico hor. What am I worth ? What is this lifo worth ? I'm as poor as a rat-as wrotohod as o follow of my ago can be. I'm gotting dosporato. Aeouso mo if you like ; I know, and I feol sure you know, I'm innocent, and if you oro scoundrel enough-"

"Come, como, Diok," said tho othor, "koop that for a jury. Thoro oint no doubt you'd bring down the houso with the injured inno conce pnthotics, if wo do lot worst como to the worst and put you boforo a jury. But I don't caloulato on that. We'll bo lovin' brothers-in law soon. I'vo got good nows for you."

" Good nows for «is.' " sueerod Dick.

"I should think so-stunnin' nows. You

wouldn't think BO little of life, you know, if you WOB rich. You wouldn't feel so down in tho mouth if you was goin' to moroh into tho Grange and tako possession to-morrow, now, would you ? "

" What in heaven's namo do you mean ? "

asked Dick.

" I mean good nowa," said Sim.

" Good-nowa-"

"Jolly! Now, Dick, you know what wo'vo talked-about : if Otho was out of tho woy

" Sim., you haven't-"

Dick Osproy paused and turnod palo.

"I haven't ohokod the brat," said Sim., " but I'vo done you as good a turn. What would you say to a friend who opened the Grange door, and said, ' Go in old follow ? ' I'vo done it for you, my boy. Hagar has got the brnt, and unloss I choose, nobody will ever get him back again."

" I don't undoi'Btand."

" Stupid ! How are you over to bo woko up ? Tho Grange is yours-leastways, if I uko, and just now I do. Thoy think tho young un is dead there. Dick, I managed it. I gave the old granny a hint or so, and sho's a cuto un. She got tho boy-fond of her, and sot him wild to get rid of school-books and tutors, and Miss Prims, and ho fairly ran away himself, and has gone, as he oughter, to his mother and her kin ; ond by chanco another brat of tho tribo kicked the bucket, and tho grnnny managed they should findhis body where they looked for Otho's. So thoy've had ograndfu-noral,andany quantity of blubbering, and the wholo kit havo Bworn to Lot Abran's boing tho family pot ; and now the Grange stands awaiting for its ownor. Who's that ownor? Why, its,jwi, aint it? It's Diok Osprey, the reg'lar malo hoir-him that ought to havo boon there all along. Como now, what d'yo aay "

"That you oro the devil, Sim.," gaspod Dick. -" Sotan himsolf, in human form.

" Com-pli-montary. Thom'B your thanks." " Oh, Sim., Sim. ! " half sobbod tho wretched youth, " it's such a horrible temptation."

" Horrible ! ïbu'vo not got to do anything. I knew you wouldn't, so I put it in othor hands. Tho mother has got her young un, and ho went willing, and the coast ia clear for you."

"Sim., I know what a man of honor- should


"Blow tho wholo thing to thunder, oh? Well, now you oouldn't if you wanted. Haven't any proof, you know. And then tho old story. I liave got proof of that, and, as I said, if I was rilod I might be dangorous. You know 'tisn't for generosity. I oxpoot to como in. for a slioo of the good things going, if you have tho


Dick sighed, and ran his hands through his hair again.

" I have aa good a claim as he has aftor all," ho


"To be sure," said Sim.

" I would havo been as well off aa my sister if I hadn't modo the old man angry," said Dick. "I was brought up to oxpcot it. What sort of a businoss man could I mako ? It aint in ino. I do long to bo rich."

"You arc," said Sim. Now, look hore:

whut sort of a friend will you turn out ? Will you say a third to the inventor of this hore hocus pocus that has turned you uppermost ? "

Dick leant ovor the tablo and oaught Sim.'s

hand in his.

" I'll givo you half," ho said. " I'll Bay the Grange is your home as well os mine., I'll mako what bargain you chose, only give mo one promise ; let Geraldino off. Hor little money can't bo an object now, and thoro aro plenty girls as protty. Lot Gorry off, and promise mo you'll moko no moro pretence of thinking I did what you know of, for it is proteneo, Sim.

I don't think I could shod blood. I sow the old mon foil, and heord the shot, but I don't know who fired it any more than you do ; and if I was on my death bed I should say tho Bamo, Sim. Say half of all tho Grange brings mo, and lot Geraldine off, and you'U loso nothing. Rood that, Sim.--juat read it."

Aa Dick Osproy spoko, ho thrust a lottor into Simeon Blix's hand, and with his habitual movo-, ment-his face in his hands, his fingers in his

hoir-woitçd in silence.

Sim1, took the letter, read it, and tossed it on

the table.

" Bother ! " he said. " It's just like a woman. Drivo 'em one way if you want 'om to go another. Now if you'd said, ' you can't have Sim. Blix,' ten to one eho'd havo run after me. She wants to bo coaxed to have her own way, that's all ; makin' a fayvor of what an't nothin' but the very thing she wants. Take hor fortuno, and let her be freo!' More fool I'd bo, whon I could have her and tho monoy too. 'Tan't the money, and 'tan't her, altogether. Its more'n this, I'm goin' to tell you.

"Yon seo you know how I'vo rison, and I don't mind. There was a time when I was a tinker's boy, trampin' through mud and mire aftor my father. Even thon, whenever I saw a grand fellow ride past ua in his carriage, or mended tins before a great house, I said I'll be a gentleman some day; and I meant it. I would have worked for it day and night, but it WBB no use. There didn't seem a chance for

anything but tinkering. There wouldn't have been, perhaps, if my sister Hagar-wo had the same mother, but not tho same father-hadn't mode big eyes at Henry Grontford, and made him make a fool of himself by marrying her.

" She was a gipsy girl, and told fortunes, and stole chickens, like the rest ; but she was a beauty. I suppose for o while sho took

notion to living like a lady ; but sho got tired of it, and out. That you know. But while Bhe was Mrs. Grontford of the Grange I feathered my nest. Hagor and I hadn't been too fond of each other. Wo'd had many a fight. Sho could UEO her fistB like a boy ; and she'd called me many a hard name, and I her. But I caught her petticoat to olirab by. I went to your uncle, and says I, ' I'm Hogar's half-brother.' I didn't expect to bo taken into tho Grange. I wasn't such a fcol, brat as I was, but I knew I had a chance somewhere. Ho put mo into the office whero I am now-a boy to run errands, and do dirty work. I climbed up slow and Büro. When you came I'd got to be ahand at figgers that couldn't be beat, and we was follow clerks. I've passed you, and I'll bo rich some day ; but that an't all. I want to be somebody. Henry Grontford, Esq., was some- body ; his niece is somebody ; you are some- body. You an't worth shucks at business ; you arenotbin' at figgera j but they say, " That's Mr. Grantford's nephew, and got over the rest. When I'm rich I want 'em to say, 'He's connected with the Grantfords ; ho married that stylish girl at the Grange.' I'd like to date my letters like thie hore-' The Grange.' I'm bound to do it. There's other places, and other stylish folks ; but I an't in with 'cm, and I am with you. Moy bo I'm handsome enough to catch a gal if I wanted ; but, you see, I know what they call my origin is agin mo. I know that. They say, ' who's your father, ond who's your mother?' If you onswer, 'One went tinkerin' and stealin' about tho States, and t'other went tellin' fortunes and stealin' like- wise,' they'd not consider it a credit to you. That's it. I thought of that when I came to you, and says I :

" ' Dick, you know ^what I saw and what I know. I've got o notion for your sister, Gerry :

and if I have her thoro's a reason I shouldn't Bay ohything to lood to my brothor-in-law being hung.' "

" You went to her, and she promisod thero

should be-"

" Such a child, Sim.-such a young innocent girl! How dared wo-how could wo! I,'hor

brothor ! "

" Well, you'vo got her a good husband, Dick. That's no crime. I shan't givo hor up. I'vo told you why. And you won't givo up the Grange, na you'd havo to if Otho was fotohod back ; and wo'oro a happy family-all united

and comfortable Womon aro oil aliko. She don't want mo 'cause sho's bound to havo mo, that's all.

" God grant it ! " muttered Dick ; " and for- give mo. But, Sim., tho child may return and spoil all.

"Trust Hagar for that," said Sim., "and trust me, too. I'll toko care of Otho, if sho don't. Your way is oloar. You havon't got to do anything but to walk into the don of that old What's-liis-namathot has managed tho Grange proporty over sinco it was a »proporty, and hove

it all settled." Oomo now-don't look down hoorted. Hurray, or something. Yourtroublo is about ovor ; and I'm the man you'vo got to thank for it. As for ' the girl, I'll do a little oxtra courtin', and moko lier good natured. She's piqued bcoauso I'vo neglootcd hor, no


Thus Simeon Blix rattled on, mid Diok Os- proy listened ; knowing the truth, knowing his duty, knowing how baso tho man ho listened to really was,'but yielding meekly, to his fears for his own safety, his longing for a lifo of indolence and oaso" and tho innato want of principio and

firmness which characterised him.

Sim. Blix had never feared that his plans would fail because of any heroism on Dick's part, but ho folt doubly certain of success, when tho bright oyes staved helplessly at him, and tho nerveless fingors running themsolves through tho black trcssos, sliimmorod whito in tho, goldon gas light ;,and with a bowildorod/dronmy accent, Diok muttered :

" Woll, well ; it sounds plausiblo onough ; and I'm not going lo sot up for a Blunt, after all. Tho woman is his mother, and has tho bost right to him ; and I havo the best right to tho Grange"



" I havon't tho slightest doubt his lcttors have

boon miscarried."

" Courso doy hob, missus."

" And, no doubt, tho dear boy has boen ox pooting mo for wcokB."

" Sure nuff, HUBBUB."

"Thero couldn't bo tho least difficulty in establishing his claim. Ho has all tho papers nocessary, and poor brothor has beon gone a yoar. He didn t treat me as ho should Deb., but J feel a sister's rogrot for bim. Oh dear !

wlmt'B that P I'm so norvous ! "

" Lotting off do steam, missus. Mos' doro, I


" Yos ; my swelling-bottle, Deb. It's in my bog. I'm quite overcome"

"MÍBSUS does look oborcomo, suro miff."

Tho speakers oooupied two soots in a lailway ear, which was just entering Pulaaki,

Thoy were au eldorly lady, with a handsome though faded faco, and rather a carolosB, not to say slovenly trayolling-dross, anil o vory old mulatto woman, drOBBod in true Southern style, with short Bkirt, slip shod BIIOOB, and by way of bonnet, a great red-ond-yollow korchiof wonud about her head, and standing starched and Btiff abovo it, and tied in a careful bow on tho fore


Tho rest of hor clothing WOB dingy, two holos in hor stookings oxhibitod hor black heols through tho bluo worsted, and hor shawl had boon UBod for an ironing blanket, and oxhibitod tho scorohed imprint of ¿an iron on tho book ; but this turban waa o wondrous spooiinen of loundress skill, and ovidoutly the prido of tho

old mulatto woman's heart.

Tho lady, roposcd on ono seat with hor foot on another. Tho servant sat humbly orouchod upon a woll-stuffod carpet bag. Bosido her Btood a basket, an umbrella, a lunch-box, and a littlo flask. On hor kneoB lay a shawl, a bag and a fan. Thus sho had travelled for many woary miles, ministering to the wants of her youugor mistroBB. .

Tho lady, though past middlo ago, had yet a satin skin, soft, blue oyos, nnd a wavo in her light, browrt hair; but sho cither was, or fancied horsolf, oxtromoly delicate and holpless. During the journoy sho had boon fannod and shawled and unBhawlod a thousand times. Every fivo minutos a window had boon oponed or shut, something put under her feet, or behind her book. Her Biuolltng salts handed her ; hor comforts jninistored to insomowoy; often, as it soomed, only forlho sako of giving Deborah, the dovotod, somothing to do. Even now, whon, for somo reason, her strongest feelings woro ox cited, she still mado thom an exouso for a thousand physical wantB, which othors in like oircumstnnces would havo forgotten.

"My fan, Dob. Thoro is the old church steeple-the dear, brown thing. I'vo boon up thoro ninny's tho timo to hear tho bell ring, on 4th of July."

" Lo'rs, now, missus."

"Yes, Deb., whon I was a child, boforo Mr. Poyton courted mo. Boforo I know what a world of troublo this is. Oh, Dob., that oak was there, and tho smithy undor it, then. I wondorifEbcn Filo keeps it yet. I suppose not. Ho would bo BO vory old. My smolling BaltB, Dob. ; and do open tho window. Tako caro of tho things wo'vo thoro. ( I Bupposo I ean't do bottor than to go to the hotol awhile, and send for my son. I don't know how matters aro oxactly. I can't go diroot to Grant ford Grange."

" Xoely BO, missus," said Deb. " Now, missus, ' take care herself. Bross me ! what a poorty plaoo. Lots o' trees and green things ; but don't seo no niggers. All whito folka."

With the others, who Btoppod at tho hotel, tho lady descended, followod by her servant, and soon thoy stood alone, with thoir baggago about them-quito a formidable array of trunks and bandboxes, all marked, with whito lottorB, B. Poyton.

" I olmost wish wo hadn't brought tho nasty things," said the lady, as abo aat down on tho largest trunk ; " but I couldn't disgrace my son ; and who is to know I haven't any clothes to spoak of if I don't toll thom? This ia just as hoavy with the old newspapers as though it

were full of auk and volvot."

"Lors, Missua will hab plenty silks-byinby,"

said Deb.

1 Yes ; my Bon will seo that I need nothing. Whoro is ho, I wondor ? At the Grango, no doubt ; but it ia atrongo I did not rocoivo his lottera. Oh, if any harm should have come to tho boy. What a silly thing I am, to bo sure. Ill nows flies too fast for that. I Bhould have heard-I should bave heard long ago. And then, though not sturdy, he was always well. Deb, you muât call some ono to carry theBC things, and I suppOBo I shall have to pay any- thing they ask. Wo'll go to the hotol. I can seo tho sign yonder, in the old place. Oh, who ¡B that? I think I know him. It is-no yes-Mr. Helmstono, is it you ?"

The pastor, foi he it was, paused as he heard himself addressed, and took off hiB hot.

" You called mo by namo, I think;" ho Baid. "Yes, but you can't remember mo, Mr.


"Not exactly," said the pastor, blandly, " but my littlo flock has been always dear to

mo. You aro-"

The lady interrupted him.

" Oh, you must go back a long way-thirty years and more. Do you ever remember a wil- ful, naughty girl they colled Beatrice Grontford, who took it into her head to be Beatrice Peyton, and mado a moonlight flitting of it one fine night ? Littlo Beatrice, who usod to say her cateohism "to you before she was seven years old, and you called her a little doar. Oh, how timo goes ! Deb., my smelling salts."

' " Beatrice-yes, yes," cried the pastor, clasp- ing her" hand in his. "How are you? How oro you? Mrs. Helmatone will be rejoiced. And so this is Beatrice We are all older. How did you know me?" , "'

" I think "it was your necktie. You never tied yonr handkerchief like anybody else," said the lady, *,' and your face is. jnuch the same. You haven't changed like poor me, though

your hair is white, and it was only groy thon. | Door, dear! My fan, Dob. And now, what about my son ?"

" Havo you a son ? Is he hore ?" askod tho parson, looking about.

" I have only ono," said Mrs. Poyton. " Poor Godfroy did not live long, and I'vo novor married again. You'vo seen him, of courso. I told lum to be suro that your houso was the

first ho visited."

" I really do not comprohond you," said tho postor. " I'm Btupid no doubt. You say-"

" I say that my son would cortainly have eatoomod your friendship a favor."

"Donr Mrs. Poyton, I-nover know until to- day that you had a son."

The lady clutched his arm, turning doadly - palo, even to hor lips.

" My son loft mo to oomo hore months ago," sho said. " Wo nover heard of poor brothor Honry's death until thon, and of courso, know- ing how the estate is loft, you know ho is hoir to all. Wo livod in Virginia. Ho wroto to mo from all tho stopping places, ot last from Pu laski. In that letter ho said, ' I am going to- morrow to Grantford Orango. My journey is almost over. I havo had sorno contre-temps which I will not boro you with until wo moot, or I should havo boon thoro woeks ago.' Sinoo that I liavo not hoard from hiin, but I fanoiod his letters havo boen miscarried. Oh, Mr. Hchnstono, what does it mean ?" And Mrs. Poytou, though really faint, forgot to oall for

hor Balts.

" Your son may havo boon hero," said Mr. Hclmstono. " I supposo ho has, but I havo not soon him. In foot, it is likoly. Oh, dear; dear, dear." Como homo with mo, Boatrico, if I moy call you so still. I'll toll you all I know. Who is the oolorod lady ? Come, Aunty, you'll

bo wolcomo too."

[ " Novor mind Dob., Mr. Holinatono," faltorod

tho lady. " The things will bo safo, girl ; only bring tho bundles. No ono will touoh. tho trunks. Thank you ; sho don't need any holp." Oh ! ah, what havo you to toll mo ? But I'll wait until I am undor your roof. It's no good nows, by your face Poor poor boy, whoro is


And taking tho olorgyman's arm, Mrs. Poyton Buffered herself to bo couduotod to tho parson-

age .

At its door Mrs. Holmstono mot hor, aud recognitions over, tho olorgyman drow tho sofa forward, and sitting besido Mrs. Poyton, took

her hand.

" My door child," ho said, " for you aro a child to mo Btill, somo strange things havo happened. Changes havo takon placo of which you know nothing. To hogin at tho boginning. Your brother's first wife died two years aftor your doporturo."

"Poor thing," said Mrs. Peyton. "Sho was a sweet tompor, I'll say that for her."

" I think ho grioved for her very dooply," said Mr. Uelmstono, " but ho was not ono to sit down and sigh. Ho took to leading a wild ish sort of life, turnod Nimrod, ond had o host of riding, shooting, hunting, billiard-playing gontlomon at tho Orango the year round. Of courso a widowor ns rich and fine-looking as ho, was considered a match to bo sought for, but ho took no notico of any lady in tho placo, and soomod determined to livo to tho ond of his

days without contraotiug a Bocond marriago."

" I should havo thought ho'd marry within tho year," Boid Mrs. Poyton. " But you novor can protond to know poople Well, sir ?"

"Bio lod this lifo until BOIUO ñiño years ago," continued Mr. Holmstono, " whon ono autumn ho wont away from homo with a party of gen- tlemen, and Btaid away muoh longor than uaual though he always took a ploasuro excursion in tho fall. Ho carno back ono night. It WOB past ton o'dook when he rappod at the door of this


" ' Mr. Holmstono,' said ho, when I admitted him. ' I want your sorvioes.'

" 'And welcomo, Henry,' said I.

" ' Coll up the clork and light the ohuroh,' he said. ' One candió will do. Thero's to bo a wodding thoro to-night.'

" Ho was flushed and oxoited. I think ho had had moro wine than was good for him, and I fancied ho waa jesting ; but ho drow mo out on tho porch, and thoro Blood a lady.

" ' I'm in earnest,' ho aaid. ' This is to bo my wife'

" I asked him in, but ho would not como. Until I and Mrs. Helmstono woro ready, ho stood in tho moonlight with his arm around tho girl's waist, no kept it thoro while wo crossed the churpli yard and owoko Abner Jones, tho

clerk. '

" It was a singular affair. Suoh a wodding was nover known. No ono present but my wife, Abner and mysolf ; and tho bride bohnvod unliko any othor bride, and govo her answers with a silly, oaroloBS laugh. Sho was vory beautiful, vory dark, and not a lady in her mannors. Pooplc'soid afterwards that she WOB O gipsy. Sho looked it, I am suro. Aftor the aoromony was ovor, your poor brother kissed his bride passionately.

" ' You aro mino, Hagar,' ho said. ' No ono can divido us ¿wain, Pooplo moy talk as thoy uko, and think Os thoy uko ; we will novor caro. Como home, Hogar,'

"Ho shoókhands with mo, loavinga doublo euglo in mino, and wont back to a little carriago (a hired ono) that waitod for thora. And thoro my story of the wedding ends."

" Honry was dorangod, I think," Boid Mrs. Peyton. "Well, that woman is at tho Grange" - " No, my denr child. Many strango things havo happonod boro of lato. A year from that day BIIO loft the Grango by Btealth,-on tho day of her child's christening. No harm can hove bofallon hor. She must hove dopartod volun- tarily, deserting child and husband without ro morso, for sho loft tho babo behind her."

" A girl ?" cried Mrs. Peyton. " No, a boy."

"The diroot malo lion," cried Mrs. Poyton, "Ho Btands in my doar boy'B way. No doubt ho discovered that, and returned to Virginia at once ; or, desperate from disappointment, has wandered away, or gone to sea, or dono some- thing dreadful. Deb., my smelling salta."

Old Mr. Holmstono aroso and turned toward tho window. Ho stood thoro looking out upon tho littlo garden for many minutes, then ho re- turned to tho widow's side

"Boatrico," ho Bojd, " tho poor boy-beautiful loving, littlo Otho, of whom I had grown BO fond, is doubtlesB dead.. Ho disappeared in tho most terribly mysterious mannor Bomo wooks ago. His garments woro found on tho lake Bhoro, and a few days afterwards a littlo body was washed up. It WOB terribly disfigured, post oil human recognition, but tho color of the hair and oyes, and tho general proportions, loft no doubt in any mind but one that it was that of littlo Otho Grantford ; that one was my wife


" Yos, I doubted it, and doubt it still," said Mrs. Helmstene. " I could not think of the poor little coroso as that of Otho. I havo no proof, but I feol s uro oven as I speak, that whether our pretty darling bo dead or living, that WOB not his body. You can't convinco mo, my door, say what you will, any moro than anyono can convinco mo that Lionol Malcolm would harm the boy.

" Boatrico, my dear, you don't know half the dreadful story yet. Thoy suspect the tutor, a sweet, sweet young man, so handsome ond so good, and suoh a favorite of mino, of tho dread-

ful deed. '

"Ho was incapable of any wicked act, I know, though appearancos aro against him if tho child is roally dcad¡ and Archibald Buffers agonies becauso ho introduced him to the Grango. Why, whoro, I ask him, could ho havo found any one better fitted for poor Otho's tutor and friend than Lionel appeared to bo ; and if wo were both to blame in trusting him, wo would have been more to blame in doubting


" We didn't know who his grandfather was, it's true, nor whoro ho was born ; bufr why should that affect our judgments ? It's not Archibald's fault, and ho does wrong to think it is, and fret himself into the grave. He's grow- ing thinner every day."

" My dear, I was te blame," Baid the old man, " and I Bhould hove known moro of Lionol ; but I confess my trust in bim is unshaken, and my greatest ^nxiety is for his safety, There aro fearful evidences against him-evldonces which, will be proofs, to any jury, I fear ; and though' I feel and hope that he ÍB innocent,

what will that avail P Conviotod of so horrible a crimo, but one futo awaits him."

Mrs. Poj ton listonod without omotion. Whon tho old man had dono speaking sho simply shook her hood with an oxprossion of ponto condolonoo on hor feoturos, and said ohoorfully ¡

" But if ho really has murdered tho poor littlo wrotoh, thoro's no ono in Howard's woy,

you know."

" Gracious, Beatrico, you speak as though you'd bo glad to know your littlo uophow hod boon assassinated," oriod Mr. Holmstono.

" My uophow ! Woll, I doolaro ! How odd I I nevor thought of that boforo," said Mr?. Poy- ton. " So ho was. And whon wo toko posses- sion of tho Grango I Bhall wear tho deepest black and mako Howard put a crapo around his hat. I'm not anxious about tho boy now, becauso I know his disposition so well. Ho built on boing in tho position ho was horn to occupy, and, of oourso, couldn't act aensibly and como back to toll mo tho truth Uko a Christian. Howover, I'll udvortiso; 'Howard Peyton is roquoatod to meet bia mothor at tho Grango,' or somothing of that kind. Poor Otho ! So ho was my nophew-poor door ohild ! How many ofllictiona and boroavomonts ovortoko ua. I was bora to Buffer. Deb. fan mo-vory gontly. I roally am quito overcome."

At this instant tho boll rang, and in a mo mont or so a servant ontored with on onvolopo, whioh Mr. Holmstono opouod with norvous


" What is it, door ?" askod the old lady.

"Tho subpoena, Dorothy," roplied the olorgy mau. " I oxpoctod it, but it shocks mo, and I con bo of so littlo use My ovidouco is worth nothing, and yet-"

" And yot may harm poor Lionol," oriod tho old lady, " Oh, do bo coroful, Archibald. Am I to go aho ?"

" Yos," roplied tho husband.

" Vory woll," said Mrs. Holmstono. " I'll I do him BOiiio good. I'll toll thom how I liko Inna and to look what swoot truo oyoa ho husj


' ' Dear mo !-excuso mo for interrupting you, " said Mrs. Poyton. _" But roally I didirt know tho wrotch was yot to bo triod."

" Ho ia not a wrotoh," said Mra. Holmstono. " Anybody is one who says so."

" Softly, softly, Dorothy," said tho old mai'. " Boatrioo nover saw him. Sho judges as I fear all will judgo savo you and I."

" Woll, if ho did it, ho is a wrotoh, you know," aaid Mra. Poyton. " This Mr.-what- ever his nomo is-is not tried yot, you say ; whon ho is, I want to bo thoro. I'vo a right to bo, for Otho was my nophow. Thoy can't koop mo out if thoy want to. I will fool droadfully, of oourso ; but it's my duty to go, and I will, Dob., o littlo moro cologno on my honkorcliiof.

" I suppose you can lond me n bonnot, Mrs, Holmstono j for my own his ruined by tho journoy ; and, to toll tho truth, I'vo boon pinched ovor since poor Mr. Poyton died ; and Howard's oducation cost mo so muoh that I

haven't a docont thing to woai after paying travelling oxponsos. I don't mind tolling you, for I Bhall bo mistrosB of my son's house BO soon now. Poor boy ! I wish ho woro boro to- day."

" Dinnor, my door," said Mrs. Holmstono. "Tho boll is ringing. Toko Mrs. Poyton in, will you. Como Deb., I'll show you tho way

to tho kitohon, and mind you moko Martha 1 give you o good moah You look worn out." |

" Oh, Dob. can wait," Baid Mra. Poyton. " Sho always etands bohiud my ohair at dinnor."

" Sho enn't now," Bnid tho old lady ; " sho's tired to doath. If you want any ono to do anything for you it shall bo done ; but this woman needs rest; and hor dinnor. Como, aunty."

And tho door olosod behind thom. Mrs. Poyton laughod feobly.

"Ha, ha!" How droll. Dob. will bogiu to think herself a whito lady, I oxpoot. What odd idoas jou havo up North, toTbo suro!"

And accepting Mr. Holmstono's arm, s'io allowod bim to conduot hor to tho dining-room, whoro by this timo Mrs. Holmstono had takon her soat at tho tablo, and whore sho rathor im- patiently listonod to a blessing, into which tho elorgyman almost unconsoiously allowod o prayor for the poor prlsonor, in whoso ¡uno conco ho so fully boliovod, to intrude iliclf.



WE havo BO frequently olludod to tho singular will under whioh tho Grantford estates woro hold by its heirs, that, porhaps, it may bo best to placo tho will itaolf boforo our hcarors, oro prooeoding farther.

It was no regular logol dooumont, drawn up by lawyora' wordy pens ; but, such as it was, it was proporly witnossod and attested, and stood in good stood of any moro formal tosturnont.

In its woy, it was a ouriOBity-tho oddest wiU, perhaps, that moitol man over left bohind him. But Roger Grantford was an odd old man, and nothing bolter, was oxpootod of him.

Whon ho died ho loft bohind him a son mid three- daughter, tho lutter of whom road this will, or rathor listonod to it, with a quiet satis- faction, becauso t hoy bad feared it would bo so much worse for thom, poor things.

It ran thus :

"I, Rogor Grantford, being sovonty-flvo years of ago to-day, and boing woll owaro that tho lot of mortal mon ÍB doath, givo Urs under my hand and Bool as my last will and testament. In caso any ono tries to provo mo crazy, I horoby in- form thom that I am in full poBBossion of health and reoBon at tho presont writing, and that I havo a right to do what I choose with tho monoy modo with my own hands.

" I givo tho family mansion known as tho Grange, with all its lands and furniture, the wines in its cellar and' tho livo stock on its lands ; likowiso all my. roal ostato and ovory penny I hove at in torost in tho Morohant's Bank-to my son Malcolm Grantford, to whoso caro I also lcavo his throo splnister sisters, Lotty, Madgo and Isabella, charging him to koop thom from starving, ond to find thom in clothca ; and ,should thoy marry to please bim, to givo oaoh o portion according to her nood, from the roady in hand-never, on any account, touching tho Grantford ostato, to soil or mort- gage tho samo, under penalty of my curse.

" From this roady monoy, always to bo kopt at interest, my son Malcolm Grantford may givo -in life what gifts ho ploasos ; but I solomnly prohibit him from willing away ono ponny or one aero at his death. AU that ho dios pos- sessed of must descend te his eldest son, the regular molo hoir. Younger children or daughters aro to havo no moro claim to it than


" I am dotormined to bo understood,without the help of lawyers (whom I bato).

" Tho Grontford proporty oonnot doscend in any gonoration to a woman, nor to a younger son, savo in case of the oidor dying childless. Tho former condition I moko becauBO womon nro nover fit to manngo proporty, and becauso the Grantford womenfolk aro invariably courted by worthless fortune-hunters, and aro sillier and weakor than moat of thoir sox ; the latter, boeauBO I won't havo the fortune I havo scropod together split into bits amongst a dozon spend- thrift boys.

"I'll mako it plain without whereas and oforosaids. My son takes the estate at my death. His oldest eon at his ; or, in caso of bia dying childleBS, my oldest ditugh tor's eldostson. Thereafter, the eldest son of the last hoir; or, in failure of tho oxistonco of such a son, tho eldest brother ; or, should there be no brothow, the oldost son of tho oldest daughter. No woman to touch tho estato or its revenues, and the wholo to descond unbroken to one man.

" Should the day orrivo when no regular malo heir exists, I bequeath tho Grango and its bolongings, and all the estato, real and porsonal, to tho Church of St. Ann, to bo held in tru«t for tho erection.of an asylum for indigont females without malo protectors ; or, if tho building bo still fit for tho purpose, for tho con- version ofthat mansion into Buch an osylum. Any femólo Grantford able to provo her descent to bo admitted to its benefits wifhou,t question, and the whole number of persons, having no such claim on the charity, to be fifty, who allow themselves to be called ol(j womon. Episcopal service to bo held every Sabbath under tile roof, and a uniform of black, with no gewgaws', to be

enforced. " '

" Given undor my hand seal, May 1st, 1777.


" Witnesses-Ann Barrow, Bridget Grief (her X mark),

"Thomas Simpson."

" I horoby command my hoir to give each of - tho abovo witnesses, my cook, housemaid, and coachman, a suit of mourning, an Episcopal prayer-book, 'and present of money at his



Thoy woro good, loving pooplo who heard this will read. Malcolm looked kindly at lus sisters, and thoy looked trustfully nt him.

From that hour Letty and Ioobolla kept IIOUBO - for thoir brothor and lived and died early at the Grango. _ '

Madgo inarriod, had ono daughter, and diod boforo BIIO had lookod upon it, leaving it only the heirloom tho throe girls had reoeived from their inothor, tho doom of consumption.

Therefore, whon lato in lifo, Malcolm married and waa tho father of ono son, thoro wore no descendants to disputo possession with him. had thoy felt so inolinod, or had old Roger's will boon proved untenable.

This son, Rogor Mnleolm Grantford, was in his turn tho fofhor of ono aon, Henry, and two daughters, Beatrico ond.Roso. Tho former, a high-tomporod, wilful girl, who married against her brother's will, and whom wo have just mot as Mrs. Poyton ; tho latter tho mothor of Geral- dine nudRichard Osproy, who hadnow sluinberod in hor gravo for many years.

To Roso, nonry Grantford had always been kind, for tho laat romains of meoknoBs and gontlcness had somohow desconded to this girl ; Grantfords gonornlly by that timo having booomo a floreo and fiery raco, strong of passion and quick ofBpeocli; and hor daughter Goroldino was his primo favorite But with Diok ho had quarrelled, as ho had with Boatrioo in the olden time- Thoroforo, though plontoous gifts had mado Goraklino indopondonl in circumstances, Horny Grantford had drown his purso-stringB tightly for all othors, and littlo Otho had bo- oomo tho wealthiest hon.' yot horn to the estate, tho first heir, also, whoso lifo had stood botween tho hoirship of other living Grantfords and Grantford Graugo.


HAPPY LADIES -At what ago aro ladies moBt happy P Nam-age.

A TAX NO ONE LIKES.-Attaoks on one's_, purso. , ^¿¡> jir

WHEN'S a dead body not a^'doatf- body ? Whon it's a gal-on-a-bior.

THE SNUFB-TAKEU'S MOTTO.-What's tho odds so long as you'ro Rappoo I

WHY is a colt like an ogg P Because it ia not fit for uso until it ia broke

WHY ÍB o pair of Bkatealiko an apple ?-Thoy

havo occasioned tho fall of mau,

THR gontlomnn whoso lips prossod a lady's " snowy brow" did not catch cold.

IT was said of a rieh hiisor that he died of great want-tho want of moro monoy.

PUT tho strongest mindod woman in a bonnot shop, mid it will instantly turn hor hoad.

PUNCTUATION,-Putting a stop to woman's tonguo is said to bo diflloult punctuation. '

WHAT Boorot is that whioh may bowarrantod to koop in any climate?-A woman's age.

WHAT is that whioh inoronsos tho effect by diminishing tho causo ?-A pair of snuffors.

" SHOOT folly as sho flies."-Pope Was Bot up by a stupid printer, " Shoot Polly as she flies Pop."

WHY ia a Bhip called sho ?-Becauso BIIO falls in love with tho other BOX, whon she is attaehod to the buoy*.

" GOOD blood will BIIOW itsolf," as the old lady said, when BIIO was Btipick with tho rednoss

of hor nose

WHY oro tho English people liko tho not of reasoning ?-Becauso thoy aro racg-hossg-vation (ratiocination.)

SEEING a collar nearly flnishod, a waggish

fellow remarked that it waa au oxcollont founda- tion for a story.

WE rallier think that tho most reluctant BIOVO to vice that wo ovor saw was o poor follow who had his flngois in ano.

WHEN you put on your stookings, why aro you suro to make u mislako? Becauso you must put your foot in it.

TUB onliro nssots of a roccnt bankrupt woro nine children. The creditors acted magnani- mously, and lot him keep thom.

WHY should green bo worn by tho prizo pullers ot a Rogotto ? Booauso Green is tho champion's color (champion ¡culler).

A l'Ai'Eit, giving nn account of Toulouse, says, " It ÍB alargo town, oontainiug upwards ofsixty thousund inhabitants ¡util entirely of brick."

A PHILOSOPHER, who marriod a vulgar but umiublo girl, used to call his wifo brown sugar, because, ho said, sho was sweet, but unrefined.

TIIEBI! is a man in Connecticut who has such a hatred to everything oportoining to a mon- archy, that ho won't wear a crown on his hot.

CUTTING.-" Mister, I owo you a grudgo, romember that!"-"I Bhall not bo frightonod, for I novor know you to pay auything that you


A SitoBr CHAT.-Two Bisters lately mot, aftor forty-eight years' separation. Thoy talkod thirty-six hours, and wcro still doing BO at loBt


"You want o flogging, that'B what you do," said a parent to his unruly son. " I know it dad, but I'll try to got along without it," roplied tho boy.

VARIETY IS CnABMiNG,-A statistician says ho has perusod 1,433 difforont articles upon tho cholera, and in all of which tho authors adviso different provontives.

A STRANGE COMMUNICATION.-The Albany Knickerbocker speaks of " a child bom with ono arm undor peculiar circumstances," but nogloots to Bay what the othor arm was undor.

So NICK.-One of tho vory latest styleB of ladies' hats now worn is colled tho" butter-dish." Thoy oro a cross botwoon a turtle's sholl and a wash-pan. Thoy aro so nico.

EXERCISE-Tho best timo for gymuastio exorcise is tho morning, about an hour after having had a moderato breakfast. Medical scienco tolls us that it is hurtful to labor on au ompty stomach.

SONS AND PARENTS.-" Tommy, my boy, run to tho shop and got soino Bugor."-"Excuso mc, ma; I am somewhat indisposod this morning. Send father, and tell him to bring mo a plug of tobacco."

BACK AND NOSE.- " What's tho matter Cosar ?"-" Dat nigger, dat lib down Cat-alloy, hit mo on domout' widhiBÍIst."-" Well, didn't

you striko him back, Ciesar?"-"No, massa,

but I striko him nose"

SAVAGE.-A friend of ours says that he con- siders curates have no right to complain that thoy aro underpaid, for howovor Bmall thoir aalaries arc, thoy muat bo able to live within thoir means, since thoy havo a surplice at tho

ond of each week.

AN ORDERLY BOOM INCIDBNT.-Matter-of Faot Non-Comm.: "Why, you BOO, sir, he thinks ho can go out and como in just when ho likos, knock about, get drunk,-and, in faot, sir, behave just as if ho was an officer !"

SPORTING EXTRAORDINARY.-The following story is told of a gentleman woll known in sporting circles. Being mounted on his thorough-bred hunter, on which he had backed himself to take any thing, ho rode up to'an unfurnished five-storied house and took it. Both horso and ridor returned home in perfect safety.

GHAPNEL-ING THE DIFFICULTY.-Miss Tip pin :-" Nothing is impoBsibo, my dear child; it was thought impossible to raise a slender cou of ropo from the depths of tho Atlantic but you seo it has boen done !" Master Arthur :-Yos, but they only got it by a ñuke !

A FRENCH caricaturist represents an English- man with a French friond out shooting. The Frenchman hallóos out as o haro posses by, " Shoothim! shoot him!" But the Englishman replies, " Noa, Noa ! I have not been introduced

to bim." This is considered a hard cut at our

insular mannors.

WB read in a London letter :-" Hero is a funny bit of Btrec-i;-boy chaff whioh I heard near St. James's Palace a day or two ago. A doctor's 'boy in buttons'was carrying his basket of bottles. A passing urchin called out, 'Hi, doctor, got them medicineB?' Tho pago, wishing to say something, grumbled, Ye-es.' ' Then look sharp young'un-the patient's at