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Chapter NumberVII
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Full Date1896-07-11
Page Number8
Word Count5135
Last Corrected0000-00-00
Newspaper TitleThe Capricornian (Rockhampton, Qld. : 1875 - 1929)
Trove TitleHalf Round the World to Find a Husband. A Comedy of Errors
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5alf Sound the World to Find a Husband. A COMEDY OF ERRORS. By MAY CROUMELDt, Author of ' Bay Ronald,' 'A Jewel of a Giri,' 'Goblin Gold,'*' Dead Men1* Dollars,' ' Mr. and Mrs. Herries,' &c (O0ITRIGHT-) CHATEa VII. (CcnUimtefL) It was true enough, that the breezy weather beaten sailor admired bis chuge vastly ; and so, for the matter of that, did every man and boy on board sbjip; besides not a few women, with no base jealousy in their sools, nor feel ing of rivalry, which sometimes embitters the best. Some of thdb, told Ann what ' the men' **M of her :vhen alone together * their hnabands told them. Lord Thanet pronounced her beantifoJL and moat of the others agreed in th^ki^g her handsooie, certainly of as on cotnmoa type. ' Pity yoar titled admirer is an invalid, n they ntvit to which Aon liitf^fWfl imiiiitig yfiaVf^g off flattery, as a does: does water from its back, with a grate ful sensation. She liked to be admired, but did not agree in her own heart on the merits of her bee and person. '? I can't see it,' she criticised inwardly, studying herself in the cabin glass, and shak ing her dark brown locks, that bad socfa red lights in the sunshine ; '* though £ see what warmed and expanded like a blossoming rose, they take for beanty in me. I am only a IStun after all, a flesh and blood creature.' The Raphael madonnas were her types of perfect womanhood. Bat Kan's heart these days for it was sweet to Hind that strangers so sooo turned to friends. Why need she fear the future, «he sleepily asked herself, at late nights and early mornings, when trying to think over her situation. Nay, bat why should she think ? Does a swallow reared in an FfPg^'iTi nest, and **ijgratinp from autumn's cold to wanner skies, think while the world is growing ever more genial and gladdening as it flies. A'd so Nan was only happy, and did not think— not for some days. She was happ) on hot afternoon, lazily lying under the awning ; happy on warm night's when the ship's wake was a track of liquid fire. How stanooBly* blackly deep, was the sea, as one leant over the side in the dark, while over head the moon and a bright star seemed racing past, so fast was the Ii^ht could drifts blew over them. At this hour many couples paced the deck op and down, more or less steadily, as toe planks swayed ever so little under foot, the distant figures suddenly seemed to wave, aa the wind at the exposed end of the alley way caught fight erohig skirts. Sometimes all danced to the ship's band, or a few tried poker. Nan sitting demurely by, while Mrs. Bellamy alone gambled gaily with the men of her circle. Bryan then called Miss Montague his partner, and he played rashly and heavily, the good hick she brought him, he declared make op for her reluctance to join, at which Mrs. Bellamy railed. Bat it was all amncing and strange, restfolnnd piquant. One day they sighted Teoeriffe like a white cloud on the faorizoo,aad Balma, a dark bank on the right. By dinner rime had ueared the last of the Fortunate Jtfee, which rose eheer from the sea, 300 fathom* deep. And two days later the ?' Yarrow** lay in the picturesque hay of SL Vincent, with its barren, grey, or reddish volcanic ridges. In the morning our especial party among the passengers strayed through it dusty street in the bot glare. Bow amusing to see the merry negro people for rbe first time, with their shinning black faces, and pink cotton garments. One six year old imp trotted after Kan for an hoar. 'Isn't he preny!' she exclaimed 'enthasi- asticsily several times to her companions. ' Shall I bay him ? Sis wooly pate wonld make an excelent penwiper, if you kept htm wtabdiog beude your chair,' offered Billy Wood, to which Nan langingly agreed. As they were getting into the boat again, Bryan was not to be seen. They waited ten minutes before he came ap, hot and triompd ** I have got him. I have brought the Little varmint,' he whispered, drawing Ann aside. ' Ton see £ do things, when other men only btlfr about them. ' '? What do yon mean *' — aghast — '* not my little black angel ?' ** Tea. Belongs to a woman who ht^ a shop there ; who U only too glad to be rid of h*™ Got lots more ; only we most keep it dark, she say*-' And it needed not only Ann's irwKfmnnr re monstrances, but also the assurances of the rest, that no each dealing wou'd be permitted by Captain Goodman, to make Bryan go back, as he expressed it, on his bargain. ' Take yoor money's worth oat in dead rubbish,' BUgjtesced BOly Wood, and Bryan, turning moodily shorewards, reappeared by himself later, with a boatload full of yellow and violet handkerchiefs for turbans, grinning wooden idols from Africa, walking sticks of ?harfcV spines, and such like curiosities. A very warm night. Two figures were eitting in the moonlight far forward at the ship's bow, where it «as coo], and almost solitary. Far pleannter, both agreed, than staying under the yawning, dotted with electric lights. ' Look !' murmured tbe ow. It was Ann who Bpoke. -' Is it not wonderful to watch the ship cutting through the water, spread ing foam on. either eide * and listen. L»o von bear a sound like rockets or distant cannon, one might think : what is that V 'Only an effect of the waves/' said the man 'a voice, in a preoccupied tone. Then suddenly, ss it were, making ap his mind, he began to epeak in hot papekmate accents.

' Do tell me what £ asked you the other day. Wfll yon ? Will yon ?' 'I will tell you, if voo wish it,' murmured Ann, with a gulp in her throaL. ?' But I warn you that too may think the less of me. £ know nothing of Don Edoardo except by hearsay, that be is old, very old ! Nothing.' ' Too, what V* exclaimed Bryan, in astonish don't know what he is like.' 4* I don't,' siH Ann, firm'j, trying to laugh. *' He may be a fat old man with a round face'—' Not likely ' interpolated Bryan.'— 'Or he may have been a lean old man with a long nose, and a bent back.' — ?* Jsfbre likely,' put in her hearer,— 'And I don't know if he is a tyrant or a miser, bale or asthmatic There ? ** 'Ten to one,' muttered Bryan, gloomily, ' that he spits on the carpet every fire minutes like your first friends, the Peruvians.' Nan turned quite pale at the horrid sugges ** Don't,' she murmured feebly. ' But there is something more to tell you. I— Lam not really marriedafter alL' For the feeling had grown strong upon her those two last days that Bryan was enamoured, bat that her supposed marriage moat seem to him a fatal bar. She had asked herself this very ereninc down ui her^abm, ** Am I in love with him ?' but after some minutes of frightened, flutter ing, self-searching flung the question aside with, 'How can I tell* for I never was in love before in my life. How can any girl be expected to know what it is for the first time?' Now, with unseen blushings and audiHe stammerings, ehe confessed the story of her mock mtrriage and deception, not glossing the matter, yet earnestly reiterating that she bad been folly persuaded by Anita. ' Why are yon so silent V she suddenly cried, interrupting her etary and eyeing her companion's face, that looked strangely im passive iu the moonlight. ' Do speak. Say something !' Said Bryan slowly. ' Well, of all the rnm starts I ever heard in my life ! Phew ! Yon have taken my breath away, and any man wonld swear, to look at yon that batter wonld not melt in yoar mouth. Bat what is the taw ? What does Captain Goodman say? I expect yoa are really married, hard and fast, all the same.' ' I am not. I won't be.' Ann was nearly crying. ' How can yon speak so unkindly, when yon said yon were my friend. It would be a dreadful Hfe ! Banishment ! Imprison ment ! I — I thoaght yon would be glad to know.' She broke off short. It was on maidenly to add her thought— glad to know that she was free. ' Yousee,'said Bryan, slowly , ' I am nota Chafteb VIIL— Is The Doldbchs. The morning after ber moonlight interview with Bryan, Ann rose heavy-hearted. Once more as often before, she gazed afar round tbe glorious ring of foam-flecked blue water enr tounding this moving ark, in which a hetero geneous human famCr was eating, and drink ing, and sleeping ; but no ; not marrying, nor giving in marriage ; he said, he was not a Why did she not admire the seascape as usual, with tbe sky like a vaulted bine dome, softly covering the watery waste ; with the 11 Farrow n for sole moving object therein, yet ever remaining in the centre oi the circle * All that day, Bryan surely avoided being near the girl of all girls oo board, whom hitherto he had tactfully beseiged with his in tentions. Ann at first eonld not believe that of ber friend, and invented excuses for him to her oCber self, which was inclined to be hurt and indignant. ' He is playing cricket, (with an improvised bat, and a ball tied to a string). He is wanted by everybody.' For once or twice, trtifflinr by, Bryan called out in a slightly forced, boioterous tone. 'IHow are you enjoying yourself. Miss Montagne? I &m getting up a Christy Minstrel concert for you benefit, and that of the other ladies, and we are going to have sports on board- I am organising sn enter tainment committee. Oh ! we shall all be very lively soon.' ' Very lively.' Yes, he «ras the life and soul of the ship — but not a marryiae man. Ann took a siesta iu her cabin afterwards, pleading the heat ; bnt does heat make people cry gently to tnemselveB with sobs muffied in their pillows! ' I am wicked, wieked, wicked I*' wept Ann to herself in sodden revulsion of feeling. ' How- could I have been so happy these, last few days, forgetting the dreadinl thing I did ; indeed never rigbUy realising it till last night.' For Bryan's shocked voice had revealed to her the depths of a guilt, hitherto unguessed at. He was evidently bonified, that Ann had allowed herself to take part in a sacraaient of marriage. As if it were a mockery ; only a tiUy school girl masquerading, yet perhaps gnilty thereby of deadly sin. Not the next cabin to that of oar heroine was occupied by a venerable yet good humoured Fieoch prfet sent to visit tbe missionaries to the Chilian Indians. Several times the Beauty of tbe ship had reserved him some word? and erciles out of those which were eagerly watched for by Bryan and various ad niirerK. This evening Pere Ccenrdoux ep proached his yonng neighbour when she re appeared on deck.heavy.ejed, and somewhat pale. No doabt she suffered from the heat, remarked the good core sympathetically. Woaldit rire her to talk ? In general she was surrounded by tbo=e of h«r own age, so tha: an old man hesitated to intrude. *' Hut I like Miking to people much older than myself. Tbey have so much experience, and have seen Ibe world and life — ' came la impulsive answer from the eirl'a lips. Tben she stopped dead and blushed painfully. '* My child,' eaid the prirst in a low voice, ' if my experience or connsr-l can h ;lp yon, tbey are at yoar service. You ha'^e some trouble on yonr mind, I fear.'

The eirl raised amazed dark-brown eyes, to the round kindly visage resardtngher wU? fatherly pity ; then in a flash understood that partMonwalls on board ship are alight, and hetoo might have been indulging in ».«?»*»- What «be replied she hardly knew, yet little by little, found herself gently drawn to hint ^Oh,~notirmg. Some mere 'jofc.' *ai* Ann, with a fine «ir of carelessness. But ahei sad winced sharply, ?» the pneat's eyes 'Should you wish to speak to me later, remember that I am always free from four to six,' be murmured, then glided away. lira. Bellamy'* implied sneer, for soch It re»Hv was, wounded Ann more than she could have' thoaght possible, on this day oi already deep humiliation for it made the giri fed doubly a fool ; and this was the reason thereof. Ever since leaving Liverpool Miss Montagues position in Ufe bad greatly pan ed ber in qufcdtrve neighbour. A grri who won ! hand some gowna befitfing a trealtiy bnde, yet who was shy at playing, cards for money, ju she prettily confessed ; who was treated with deference by the captain, yet was apparently without iriends. For Anb had owned to not knowing those who expected her in Chili. Fnrther than which, being natorauy of » reserved turn, she had not given any confidence. It was only yesterday, that Ann feltweaty of fencing with ber new friend's questions. Perhaps the heat was to blame for that, as also for the softening trostlnlness of heart, which induced a trusting generosity of confidence. With eager ears Urs. Bellamy learnt, that Ann was an orphan ; poor ; her handsome dresses the gift of a schoolfellow »bo had fitted her out for going to ChilL ' Sick in heart, and sick in head, And with doubts discomforted.' Then, just as the penitent was going further to stir np the trouble which made turbid tbe waters of her mind, four bells struck. '' Time to drees for dinner,' said a, young mother, driving three reluctant infants bed - wards. These instantly sprang upon Miss Montague with joyful outcries of reprieve, for she was a favourite play -fellow. ' What is to be popular among small people !' remarked Mrs. Bellamy, who was passing just then in company of Lor-l Thauet. She alwavs explained to everybody that it was necessary for his health to take some exercise, but the poor man had to be per suaded into doing wbat was good for him. ' Practising with the papils beforehand — I ' What does tint woman meanr* inquired the voong mother, gaztuc with frank dislike at the retreating lady. '* Exactly so. Just as my aunta, in the good old days, trere gent out to India, with an outfit and wedding gown all ready for tbe first man who proposed,' sharply commented the confidante, witti a matter of fact air, thongh her face fell, for ehe bad imagined Ann to be a valuable acquaintance t&at might prove an acquisition to herself. ** Of courae you mean to get married out there. Isee.' ' Not at all : indeed, if there is an opening I have an idea of becoming a governess. English governesses are well Daid in Cbfli, so my friend Awifa said, and I could always earn enough to bring me home if I did not like the country.' **Oh! — a — governess.' The words formed three icicles on Mra. Bellamy's lips. Presently, sitting upright on a wicker lounge with » brisk air, the. lady added a poatcript while taming her back and {Mating up her cushions, 'Dear me! It's mast creditable, I am sure, (pat, pat. Hew courageous of you ! Tour little story has interested me very much, my dear, and I hope you will get on well, I assure you.' Which brief effusiveness was the only sympathy she gave then or thereafter, to the orphan's life story. weary sleepy face through the open port, see ing a wide grey semi-cire'e of ruffled water, heaving gently to the horizon. Where sea met sky, lay a bind of golden orange, crossed by bars of violet grey clouds. The gold spread slowly upwards, the girl in the cabin dropped languidly back on the sofa beneath, and curled herself for yet a few minutes more of repose. All through the night, she had hardly sWpt. When Ann roused again, tbe silvery shining sun was lazily piercing his beams through veiling doads. Again it was a. hot day, and agaio the same actor on deck performed the same part as yesterday, but with this string of difference — that he now had gone over to Mrs. Bellamy. All the af lernooo, Bryan sprawled on his chair beside the mature syren on her wicker sofa, whCe Ann, sitting proudly aloof, could not hear syllable of her eager char, or bis deep-toned brief replies, tbooghjbursts of mingled laughter were borne to her loathins It was hotter than ever, and Kan felt almost ill, what between vexation and the weather When night came she fancied a« if all on board must read the tale of her desertion written plain in ber own languid f-~. and Mrs. Bellamy's triumphant expression. Bot this was not so, for Billy Wood had cleverly given a different reading to the actor's parts, when some gossiping souls noticed the change of the semi-detached couples. 'They are only playing a came of general post,' he explained ' The Beauty has got tired of Matter, you see and taken up »ith Mind.' For, on this day £ord Thanet had openly renounced Mrs.' Bellamy, In spite of her Uvst week's adoration snd transferred his allegiance markedlv to Miw Montague. Perhaps the lattir did* not rightly appreciate the compliment, beine your/e ; and foolish where Bryan was con cerned. Lord Thanet was very kind, bot rather learned, and kept discoursing on the megatheriums and mastodons of the pampas in Poulh America, till his bearer's miod grew drowsy and it worked somewhat after this fashion. ' He doere't cantor n» any longer 1 the

I extinct monster-Mrs. BdUmy-a gigjntic mammal, allied to sloths— I do trust nobody notices what I am feeling— The South American ostrich has three toes, instead of twoowned by theSouth African one, popularly supposed to bide in bead in the sand.' Byevening time poor Ann could bear the ten tion of her nerves no longer ; feeling guilty among aB these nappy innocent people around 5 scorned by her late lover on learning tbe de- . ception to which she had stooped, the band of of shame seemed stamped upon her forehead. With a sudden resolve. Nan went below, and knocked timidly at a, spare cabin far aft, which was nnderetood to be used by Father Csmdoux as a kind of chapeL 'Ah, wOa !' said the old man, opernng the door, 'I expected yon, my chad. Six down.' , _ 'Ob, father ! If you please, may I confess to you. I don't quite belong to your church you know, but my mother did, she waa an irishwoman. Ihardly remember her, but I feel a- if it would be the greatest relief to tell you ^i'*^i'E dreadful that it weighing upon my conscience.'' ' What says an Enliah proverb. Honest confession is good tor tbe soul,' quoted Pere Ckeurdoux. ' Well, my daughter, your secret is safe with the church,. so tell me all about it' Thus encouraged, the penitent began the tale which we already know eo well but this time confessuig with thnce deepened feelings, since she bad made her guilt known to Captain Goodman and her late lover. At last she fairly burst out crying. Is it a dreadful sin, please, fattier t Indeed ! in deed ! I am very miserable, but I did not forget Anita's name. Montague looked jn»l like MacTagne.' Raising her bowed head and etreaming eyes, the sinner sought the priest's face but it was averted. P&re ap parently stifled boob— or— couM it be laughter? ?'See how the extremes ot emotions meet.' said the father, tnrning s. jolly, reddened visage, and wiping his eyes. 'I am truly touched by your sorrow, for the weakness that led you astray, and has sent yon out alone, a youTiggirL in to the wilderness so to speafc. nevertheless it is sfco comic that your friend received this proposal of marriage in side an empty orange, and wrapped her corres pondence round cigarettes pushed through the key -hole of astabledoor.' Tben, although Ann was not of bis creed, and tbat he was indisposed to treat her con fidence as if uttered in tbe confessional, the land old rain gne her came exodlAt advice. ' You did not err through urifishnww,' said be ; ' thar, perhaps, is not your temptation, but you seem to have strong affections, and I fear that you may allow them to away yon in life, against your better judgement. Re member, that'in too willingly sacrificing your self to save others sorrows, you may be foster ing their selfishness, and withholding from them what might be a wholesome core for their besetting sins. But be comforted. This pian of mind you have endored lately win be, I trust, a sufficient lesson withont fnrther punishment ; stni, if -ou -wish me too advise a penance (the priest's eyes slyly twinkled), I shonld recommend a course of serious study, that will occopy your thought?, and give yoa a goal to strive for. Take up Spanid, for in stance. You path in life is now directed, per haps overruled by Providence towards a strange country. Look npon it as your duty to fit yourself to your utmost capability, for the task which Ues ahead ; possible of self support, certainly ot Hying to earn tbe forgive ness and goad opinions ofthe strangers, who will meet yon at yonr jonrney'a end. It vac a chastened but far happier Ann Montague, who for the next day or two vas never seen on deck without ber Spanish grammar ; alone in ber cabin she hugged it, exclaiming: ?* You deartlmig: I fed quite for given now. ' Yet her smiles were gone awhile like the sunshine ; for rain squalls had succeeded the late beat, when crossing the line. ' All in the doldrums. Miss,' chanted Billy Wood, standing over Ann's chair, and grinning at the page of irregular verbs ehe was conscien tiously conning. ' What do you mean *' said ahe, flashing op a hurt gUmce. ' Mean ? Why, tbat we are between the trades.' In nautical parlance, CTn the doldmms.' What's the matter?' ' Why do you call me Miis, as if you were a servant or a shopman?' ' That's just why,' quoth he. ?' I am your very humble servant ; I wonld work for you till I was black in ihe face ; era I am your nigger slave. Q. E. D. which noboby can deny ; so I mean to call yon, MisB, always in future.' J And he did. CttlPTEE IX— 'SwZKT PaoSPHOS, BBIKO _ Tra Day.' There was no doubt about it. Bryan waa gone over to the enemy— and Mrs. Bellamy was an enemy. For some days several people on board were more or less 01, Ann among them ; possibly from a dull caught in tbe sudden change of weather. Lord Tbanet was worse, and confined to his cabin Worst of all, Pere Orurdoux ha 1 suddenly changed in his manner, and actually avoided bis late penitent. ' Captain Goodman, you are my oolvallv on board. What is the matter with everybody, ornarelgottbeplagae?' Thro Ann sxUetsly complained to the jolly slipper, who was everybody's hail fellow, but her friend especially. ?? I almost feel now as if even you F.Ser-&rxrVh'haVeIdOOC tO ™ ?»iiJ?'' '?h.y'J°rIlw«'tand spoke to him £££.33?* x f'ncy' when he — ' Of courao I did, just to ask if he would » jfe'8 ''* '''KmJ verbs, for be offered before to help me learn my Spanish. He was only readmg his book, and the sub SfSrf Sidr'.atUro ?niii«»oal moods were eo hart, tfll I invented a way of my own t 0»

be-aisy? Oo-be-airy ! (hobiese, hnblcre !) Ton seer ffiaa Uontsgne pat her bead on one ode, with the satisfaction of an inventor wbohusomewtut smoothed the weary road of knowledge. 'Ob ! I eee ; fcnt perhaps the poor Per« didn't eee it. He had nearly finished reading his two bonrs* office, when yon. interrupted him ; and I believe by the laws of the church, if a priest's tbonghtB are called away during that time he is bound to begin all over again.' ' Oh ! Is it true * It can't be. And he waa so kind and patient. No wonder he keeps oat of my tray. Bat yon are laughing at me.' Certainly Captain Goodman was, for he roared, and It required all Nan's entreaties to keep htm from nuking the joke in public Scmined relations between Mrs. Bellamy and the other ladies were tightened to the utmost oa a Saturday evening, when, with

a brief air of authority, she invited all to practise hymns for the next days service. ** Captain Goodman has asked me 4o get op a choir, us I always do on there voyages, and last Sunday's flanging was simply disgraceful. Then, in ironic inflection : *' Can you rouse yourself; Miss Montague, to help as? You have been quite playing the Sleeping Beauty these last few days. I wonder who the prince is to fee, don't you, Mr. Bryan?' Her new squire in the background laughed uneaaly at this direct address. He darted a shame-laced look at Ann, and dropped his gaze while apologetically twisting hisGhoalders and staring in the way she knew so welL ** I am not so old a sailor as yon are,' re plied Ann, in her clear voice, that rang so true it could be heard, however low, at- some distance, 'and I am not seasoned, perhaps, to the heat of the tropics; Bat I have slept my sickness away, and, of course should think it a doty to sing my best in the service, even had you not asked me.' ** Quite so ! Quite so !** came from Bryan in die background, looking alternately at both ladies in secret discomfiture. ' I always go to chnrch at home in Jamacta, and — and in London, of coarse. I was only late on board last time because there are no fresh roUs for breakfast on Sunday morning, and it didn't seem worth while to get op till lonch time.0 ** Ha 1 Ha ! No fresh rolls, so yon took an extra roll in bed,' remarked Billy Woods sauntering up and joining the group. ' What fashionable ch arch did yon go to in London? SL Banbbas,eh?' « Yes— yes! I think H was,' stammeret Bryan, artlessly falling into the trap ; and only a general catch of laughter passing round the circle, as the joke reached different minds, enlightened* his obtuse perception. 'Come, Mr. Bryan, I bare not finished my two-mile walk yet before dinner.' commanded Mrs. Bellamy, with engaging briskness, and away she went with her attendant Bwain to promenade up and down for haU-an-honr. A little burst of unflattering remarks exploded like squibs, bo soon as her back was turned on tfte group « brides and young matrons, who had received Ann among them vrith joy, almost as ff«he were Bed Biding Hood escaped from the society of the wolf. *' She set herself to teach as hymns, 'snorted the first. 'It's positively uckening,' declared another. ** Well; bet husband most have toe patience of a saint; not t&at she is one,' ended a third.

And then Billy Wood, having wisely walked away, affecting not to hear, -there followed gossiping murmurs tfeat made Aim start in surprise. Presently she waa left alone, and Billy strolled back. 'I say, you did give it to Mrs. Bellamy rather strong,' he remonstrated, though puffing with silent laughter ; ** told her she was older than yourself with such a quiet, setting-down manner. Ho, ho, ho.' Bat Ann did not laugh when she likewise fonnd herself in the solitude of her cabin. Others might think her victorious in the late passage of *rms with her rival, but she was deeply wounded by the way Mrs. Bellamy had flaunted Bryan, like a captured colour, oue might say, in her very face. ** And a married woman too. Bnt he thinks I am a married woman also. Ob, who am I'! What, am It Am I really Anu Montague or Anita Palmer? I feel as if my head were going round.' Oa Sunday morning our heroine »woke at dawn to see a tropical eky of delicate, ex quisite rose, across which filmy veils of violet grey mists were lightly drawn. Sunday service was a weekly pleasure and novelty to Ann. The passengers would be lazily seated under the awning, watching the bine sonny water apparently rushing put the ship, till five bells struck. At the first sound oat poured a troop of sailors from the doorway leading to the companion ladder, all smartly dressed in blue jackets and white docks. Opposite the stewards fctood a-row till the Captain, followed by his officers, ended the inspection of the crew. Then the skipper, who called himself ' Bishop of this Diocese, ' started down to the saloon donblequlck time ; officers an sailors disappearing after him in a rapid stream. Passengers followed, headed by Mrs Bellamy with a large fan and smelling salts, while Mr Bryan carried her hymn book. To spoil a wife, snub her in company. To spoil a husband, benpeck him. ' Owing to your not having screen* in your car windows,' said the traveller, ' I got a cinder in cy eye the other day, and it has cost me ten shillings to get it out. I want to know what you propose to do about it ?' 'Nothing my dear sir,' said the railway official, '* we have no use for the cinder, and you are perfectly welcome to it. Oa a strict construction of facts, you did go off with our property— the ctndec, of course, ma pot yours — but we do not care to make trouble in so email a ipatte& Pray, do not give the Incident a momonn thought.**