Chapter 62145100

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Chapter Title
Chapter Url
Full Date1884-10-18
Page Number6
Word Count4328
Last Corrected0000-00-00
Newspaper TitleClarence and Richmond Examiner and New England Advertiser (Grafton, NSW : 1859 - 1889)
Trove TitleJohn Brown and His Dog Faithful
article text





in, m. w. ?.»»?«,



" The old story, woman's curiosity-ever wanting; to know thowhy ami the wherefore, as in the days of Kden, is now anil ever will be. Bluebeard was tired of a certain wife, HO toM her not to look into a par-

ticular room. Hu know what tho result would be," Lyndhurst said flippantly. Then, with an equivocal amil», he continuel). "There are three kinds of pro- fessional mun in tho world, who should ever keep a guard on thuir life-the partim, into whose ear con- fessions are (toured ; thu m.'ilieal man, in reference to what he hu« leurued from a diagnosis of his patient, when spunking of that patient's little slips to a third party : and a Imcyn-'t knowledge of a client's prieure business. So i must uphold the honour of the bar, asking you, Psyche, to excuse mo from telling you my client s linnie.

" Very well put. Lyndhurst ; but Forest Creek ia near Castlemaine, and thu week in May montioned tallies with what took place at the school where Hebe is. This strikes rae as rather strange."

" What t ok place nt thu Castlemaine Ladies' Seminary Í" said Lyndhurst, turning sharply round in hiH chair towards the widow, with an ominous soowl on Iiis brow, and showing his white teeth.

"What! don't yon know / Well, I will tell you," with ii sarcastic smile Mrs Pandora was told by a lady who hus a daughter at this school, that Hobo's room was broken into; this girl wrote to her mother, and told her all she knew, or information she could got from tho servant."

Lyndhurst started imperceptibly.

" What on earth hus this matter to do with me Í Women (quid mino) again. Hang the woroon, they are always finding some mare's nest. A woman ser- vant-a girl-a mother-Mrs Pandora-and last, but not least, ¡¡on. Man hud better make his exit out of tho world ; call in tho aid of Charon, and leave the globe to women. There is no Dvina; with them. A church boll will wear out, or orook, but a woman's tongue-never. I want to know what this paragraph has to do with tills menial lout of it girl's cook and bull story?" riaing from his chair, and pacing the room in wrath. " I toll you that slip has nothing to do with tho man who got in at Hobo's window."

"So you know he got in through tho window ? So, so. Ha, ha."

"Why, Psycho, did you not Boy so?." biting his nnder lip.

" No, I did not Bay so. Remember how you noted tho very night Hebe's room was brokon into. I have not forgotten tho upturn*, and Mrs Pandora told me how she watched your face. I know how you triod to explain it all away when you caine out of your faint. You and Fama looked woll, side by side : you both would have looked woll at tho foot of Cupid and Venus. Quito tmoiling. Ha, ha. Now, don't got in n rogo, and spoil tho shape of yonr nails with your' tooth. Jteeenont à nm uioiitoiti." (Lot ut return to our subject.)

" Roturn to what subjeot? I don't know what you aro talking about. You know I suffer from spasms, and that my nerves aro at timos unstrung. I must go at onco to court ; I hnvo a ooso I must attend to."

'. Woll, I om muon inclined to write to this Inter II«.»," said Psyoho, In a metallic voice, " and see if I cun aid him in his tiouble to oloar up his doubt."

; " My dear sister, are-you in your right mind / You

will got yourself Inti troable. Remember this, all . letters addressed to Inter not como to mo. This is

tho arrangumont. If my client takes proceedings against you for your lotter, I will not intorfero, so mind what you aro nbout," and the barrister's oavern OU8 oyos shot a vonom glanoo at tho widow os ho stood boforo hor.

" Well, we will seo, mon alter. That paragraph has excited my ouriosity. Why, Lyndhurst, throe parts of you gentlemen would die of ennui-you lawyers would bo out at tho elbows, bankrupt, if it were not for us women. Our little intrigues, throwing light with our bull's oyo on dark, obscuro corners and subjeot, .Icc, ko., bring grist to your will. I tell you what, you had better toko mo Into partnership. It is sound advico I give. What say you?"

"Your" words aro past my comprehension-you speak so flippantly. Don't you know Phyohe, it is against tho British law for a brother to morry his . brother's widow. What I You know that would

novor do, oven if Mr Littlohcarb had no voioo in tho matter."

'" You know well that is not what I meant.' You aro trying to raiso my temper. You had better go to ¡ your work, and plead you client's case botter than you manogo your own. Tut, tat."

Mrs Psycho Ilnndslip walked out of tho room, muttering, " I'll bring this matter to a climax, try and find out who Inter HIM is by writing. I Bhall Boon know , if the replies do go through the hands of my worthy brotlior-in-law. I will soon know if he lies on that point at all events. I believo tho paragraph has boen put in by John Brown ; if so, I must work with caro. ; Well, it won't be tho first letter I havo written in a masculino hand, so hero goes."

Tho widow, taking up a pen, wrote :

i '.' Docs Jntor noa rofor to midnight between 24th and

2ôth of Moy, Castlomaino Ladies' school 1 If so, will Inter no» send his iiamo and address to undersigned, ns a bonaßiteot his word and intentions. Tho writer of tliis holds valunblo information. If Jilter ito» is .acting alone, or through a lawyer, will ho pleaso

stato ; say so, or not. All communications confi- dential. For writer's safety, would ask that reply bo notified early in morning paper simply-Inter nv»' name and address first, then yet ot no rogarding low-, yor. ' Lot tho matter bo dono without loss of time. Jiiirit». ,

Mrs Phycho ° Handslip posted the letter horsolf, walking away from tho post office with a metallic , laugh. -

Mr Lyndhurst Handslip, barrister, mado up his mind to bo on tho qui vivo; Leaving tho house of Mrs Pandora, he hissed through his olonohed tooth, pressing his thin, cruel lips firmly together,

' "I must boon tho alert; that fiend of a woman will write. *.'. Do Wort moy bo tempted by tho reward of fifty poundB. I must think some plan at onco to thwart them both."

Oh wont tho barrister, buried in deep reverie, down Elizabeth-street, until ho stumbled o vor (the nuisance of every pedestrian of o publia footpath in a crowded city-a pity tho mayor of a city and his colleagues don't cosse to grief over them) a perambulator, con- taining a thrco months' old, with nurse girl, studying astronomy. Lyndhurst measured his lcr.gth on tho tho pavoinant, crushing the perambulator with tho pit of his stomach, causing him to send forth a dole- ful sound, betweon a grunt and a squeak ; whilo tho littlo lump of flesh-daddy's pct and mamma's joy took a bath lu tho gutter-a muddy stream-to tho horror and consternation of tho tawdrily-dressed Sootoh nurse, Lyndhurst picked up himsolf-but not tho child, and hastened away, muttering,

" Hang tho women I Thoy will bo tho doath of mo | they aro over crossing my path."

Further on in tho doy, as Lyndhurst was going to the .post. oilloo, at thc ontrnnoo-pondorous iron six-feet high kind of tuni-stilo-ho saw Mrs Handslip leave tho lottor-roociving box, and go out. nt the opposite same old-fashioned turn-stile, for in thoso days, to fret to tho post offico yon went in at ono end of tho ong passage, and wore compolled to go out at the other, for tho turn-stile, iron goto, or door, turned but ono way.

. 'fAhl nhl" muttered tho barrister, ,'!You,aro

.putting your plans into exécution.' So, soy member : of thc feminine gender., I would give something for

your lotter. 'A risky thing ; but I will'do it, so not ' accordingly." .-Xi., ...o j

Next morning Lyndhurst loft Tompe Houso . {inmediately after breakfast, and walked towards the '

post ornee. Before he reached that place, ha aalend a right of way ; sask oat of bia coat jocasta «mall Mootch plaid, wrapawa at round kia neck, well over chin and beard ; then pat on a dark pair ot apaoaaolaa ; buttoned bia ooat well ap. and down over bia Teat ; removed bia rings flora kia fingen, and walked out into tbe street. Near the past ottoe he aoooeted a boy, with a abort black pips in bia month, saying :

" Hy lad, do you want to earn a crown V

" Hy eye 1" responded the street waif, giving a knowing look, as he placed one finger to the side of hi« pug nose. " My eye ! don't I. I'll toss you if you give me two crowns or one ; head or tail.'" Clapping a penny on the back of his hand, and covering it with tbs amadgy fingen of his other hand. " Heads I win, taila you lose," «hatting one eye in a knowing manner.

" Come, come, none of your Seven Dials tricks with me. Will you go an errand for me t"

" Yes. boss ; is it over the left, or over the right, master /" raising his right hand, and jerking hi« thumb first over his left shoulder, then over the right, to give emphasis to his words. .

" All right and square, my lad."

" Not on the cross, roister," again placing one finget against his nose, and giving Lyndhursta wink.

"Boy, what do yon take me for/" queried the barrister sharply.

" My eye I I twigs you by your tog«, and those go go's "-spectacles-" you are a fence "-receiver of stolen property-or-or, you know," with another

wink. " Mum ia the word."

" Never mind who I am. Oo, take this order to the post office, and they will give you my letters. I will wait here for your return."

'. Whore is thc orown, governor ?" holding out his hand, and scratching his head with the other.

" Here you are, and another when you come book- it you are sharp."

" Don't be »feared governor ; no bobbies about just now to twig you," and off he went at a run, whistling Yankey Doodle."

Tea minutes afterwards, Lyndhurst (he was pacing up and down, muttering, " Hisky undertaking ; but no other way ") saw tho street Arab running with all his power towards him. As soon as he reached thu

barrister, ho said :

" 1 was ii. arly cctohed : the post fellow hos gouo for a bobby. Ho says your paper was a forgery. Says he, ' who gavo you this.' Says I, 4 A real gcntloman.' Soys hu, . Forgery !' Then he calls imo thor cove, and says be, ' Go for a policeman.' He didn't think I hears him ; but I hears him, and gave leg bail. Oh I my eye I give ino my crown. ï*ou bolt-slope. Look I there is the bobby," and off the street breed went at a run, putting tho crown into IIÍH mouth ; und off went Lyndhurst, too, into an hotel and out tho back way. He was foiled in his attempt to get Inter non' lottern, for Achates, tor safety, had left his signature at the post office, with striot instructions, And Lyndhurst further, hud signed John Brown's name to the order, thinking John Brown was Inter nos. Achates' instructions were of such a nature, that the post office officials wore on thu watch. The order wus shown some few days afterwards to Achates, und he was allowed to take possession of it.

When Achates rcoolvcd Eurus' (Mrs Handslip) letter, as ho perused it a smile hove round his foco ; and os he read it tho second timo, his hand went up to his moustache, and tho usual facial movements followed. Thun, at the termination of the letter, he remarked, in self colloquy :

" A disguised hand, unquestionably ; from different Entre noun. His words echo truth and good inten- tion, while Eurus shows double-dealing-duplicity the olovon foot. Untre noun writes guardedly to such an oxtcnt that only tho holder of the key to what ho hints at could decipher his meaning. No commit- ting himself, whilo East wind (Eurus) rushes point blank on to tho goads-dashes over the precipice of caution-goes to the goal ut once. Ladies' seminary, Castlemaine ! Suoh a novice's work-a fool-hardy, rash, incautious lutttor ; only a novitiate would write uuder suoh circumstances. Further, requires my name and address ; this the acme of East wiud's wish-tho Alpha and Omega of the letter. Address first : lawyer, or no lawyer. This smells suspicious 1 All right, Kurili. Ha, ha, ha ; the paper seentett, too. You havo out-gonoralled yoursolf ! mun don't uso icentvil paper. I romomber, Mrs Psycho Hundslip, how highly-scanted tho lotter was you honoured mo with before. Yes, hero lt is ; tho same perfumo tho ii roma of a person who apes the lady high, strong scent, indicating nora fem ¡mt. You are working some Bohemo, Psycho, as your name indicate*-goddess of pleasure. You aro trying to trip tho barrister. You uro an East wind, for such blows no good. You shall have a reply, my inamorata. Pugh 1 pugh 11 will give you a pillow of nottlos to lay your hoad on tho first night after reading my reply.

Then thc nose went up and the chin came down In deep thought.

In duo timo, Aohatos got his writing material, and set to work with compressed lips, and wrote as

follows :

" Thanks, Eiirus. Tho addross ls-Monsieur Argun -Ubiquitous day and night street, Cosmopolitan olty. No, no, thoy or some too much Uko Protous aud tho river Sty.-Eurus' letter much prized and treasurod j tho perfumo, being so high, will preservo it for ugos, even if it passes through tho hands of Charon. Did Eurus evor seo the goddess Atc or Eury- nome 1 A looking-glass would BIIOW a reflex to Eurus at any time. Let Ennis note tho address and answer bo second query."

. Achates rubbed his hands ; then his upper Up, under tho cartilage of his nose, as he read the above.

" Yes, I ; must get this off boforo John Brown returns, because he-good follow that ho is-would say it was too strong. I will get a blowing-up for it from him ; but that I will boar, for the plcasuro I shall glvo to my manoeuvring widow. Ila 1 won't .ho wriggle Uko a serpent when this appears to mor- row. St. Vitus' danoo nothing to it? I wish I could have a hit at Lyndhurst ; I may yet. Who'can Entic licúa bo? A man with some baokbono of charaoter ; I should like a closer acquaintance with him. He has grit. Yet ho must bo tho individual who worked for the barrister; tho B.A. hud him ' under his thumb in some way, and led him on in tho

dark. No doubt ha found out that skunk by tho letter Hebe says she cannot find ; ¿Aili would tell Entre nous all, so ho has Lyndhurst to an extent in his power. Time will toil. I must drop this in to tho post-box for to-morrow's Argus; then John Brown cannot put his reto on it."

When Mrs Psyoho Handslip read in the Argus tho reply to her lotter, her face booamo crimson to hor temples. Sha road the reply at tho breakfast tablo. Lyndhurst was sitting opposite to her at the timo, so noticed hor face, and chuckled inwardly, feeling thero must be somo reply to the letter ho saw her drop into

tho box.

with flashing oyos, Psyoho left the tablo and room. She was in doubt who the author was.- ? Was it Lyndhurst) Hail her lotter pissed through his hands, and had ho given her a bnok-handed slap 1 Was it John Brown who had unmasked her? Yes, sho had written in hor hurry on soontod paper ; but that alone would not provo Ennis was a woman. Sho felt sho had received a stab in tho dark ¡ by whoso hand she could not fathom. Tho address cut

hor to tho qulok. Sho muttered, " Argus-tho keeper of a hundred oyos. Ubiquitous-street-a being ovcrywhorc prosont. Cosmopolitan-a citizen of tho world."

This addross Psyche felt was a warning-a throat a sword of Damocles suspended over her head. The writer know hor movements.

" Yes, it is Lyndhurst I Only ho would suspect mo," she muttered, olonchlng hor bands in rage.

- Thon again sha rend tho last part of the reply, , sho having taken tho paper from tho breakfast room with


" Asks mo if I havo seen tho goddess of rovengo, or Eurymone? Why Eurymone was tho infernal deity who gnawed tho dead to the bonos, and was always grinding her teeth, I am to look in my glass, and I shall seo thora. Oh 1 you wretch Lyndhurst ; am I gnawing tho bones of my husband ? You aro gnawing tho bones of your brother. What shall I do ? I must be silent. If I knew for certain he was ' tho writer, I would openly havo my revenge, No, Lynd- hurst, I won't liotrny myself to you. I must only watch. Horo I am, rebuked by Hebo ; put down by John Brown ; now insulted by Lyndhurst. What have women to go through in this world 1 Men, who should be our protectors, aro our bono. Why mon wcro mado I cannot comprehend. Mon oro eithor fools or viltinn.i ; no choice batween them. You wretch I Lyndhurst, to write of your brother's widow so ; I would Uko to-."

A« tho widow spoko, sho ground her teeth and hold up her two hands with bent fingers, as if sho was

about to claw somo one's face.

Lyndhurst hastened through his breakfast - hastened out and bought a paper, and rood Achates' reply. ,

, " So, so, Psyohe, this is the bitter pill you had for breakfast ; a back-handed knock for me. I am like Proteus-can assume any form I please ; or like Styx -river of hell. But that olauto cannot refer to mo.

Yet what docs it mean I No, no, not me. With me

it ia aaa* /xor rt sums rrprwhe (wi tho* t flaw flat without reproaaah). By my gawa, Payehe, TOO kara got it hot ia the hut portion. That ia A/Alt-, 111 hat: John Bro »a would But write ao. Psych* will put thia down to me. I moat not betray roysalt ; ao ailene« ia ,ny part to play-be on rey guard. Da Wert ! where ia he.' I think he will keep hi* word." Then he walked on to hia omeo, chuckling.

Wheu Mra. Hnndalip and Lyndhurst met. neither made soy reference to tho |«ragranh in the Argus. Psyche played ber part ao well, that the barriste*: was in doubt at times if the widow really did write to Infer «m. and that she waa " East Wind" after all ; and Mrs Handslip waa equally in a mase of perplexity to know what to chink, so their scheming- only rebounded upon themselves -acted as an indigestible supper on their inwards.

At thia, and before thia time, something else waa going on. It wna thia

Mrs. Fama Pandora waa heartily aiok-tired sf Mea. Psyche Handslip and her blatant bisoloou ways io Tempe House. Her manoeuvring tactic* to monopollae the B.A. were nauseating to Mrs. Pan- dora. The widow of old Pandani (the late figure head or ornamental statuette-for he was nothing more-his requiem wax sung in Tempe House the day Fnma became Mrs. Pandora), tho' unable to throw hor uip at Lyndhurst (for she had cast oS the mournful cap long ago, signifying i-he did not wish to romain a widow), shu several times threw an elaborately-worked antimacassar, with the god of marrisgo on, interwoven by her own hands. This wan thrown as a kind of bilU t-ilvu* at the barrister.

But to the great vexation of tho mistress of Tempe House, Psyche ontcred the room just nt that interest- ing epoch of time, making Fama collapse-shrink like a |Hiriwinkte into its shell, while the banister'* fingeia would stund up like the horns of a snail, or tho antrnnujs of a dcatha-huad moth, and look like an owl on a withered leafless tree at night. This waa annoying and galling to Mrs. Pandora. Further, Psycho required ton much attention from the ser- vants ; rebuked and scolded them as regular as the rising and setting of tho sun. So Mrs. Pandora sat in her chair of state, looking nt the bronze statuette of Cupid and Venus, for those emblematic figures had

been removed to the table of Mrs, Pandora's best room for the special oyes ot the barrister.

I " Yes,' came from thc lips of thc widow mistress,

like the zuphyr breeze. " Tes, gentlemen pay better -less trouble ; keep thc servants in good humour by their little gifts ; go off to their business after break- fast, aud don't return till six-lunoh saved ; while Psycho-pugh ! pugh 1-eat, gormandise, sip green tea all day ; then ding dong, ding dong from morn- ing till night, till my earl nelie. There she is again, playing tho devil's tattoo."

"Come here, Muuil Judith ; look for my poodle, Penelope llcatriuo ; go fetch my vinaigrette from under my pillow, Anna Maria; cunio hera, boy, and curry this umbrella for me to be mended, and keep justbdiiud mein thc street. Where is Mrs Pandora? My feet wnrmers feel damp ; thc laundress has stolen one of my handkerchiefs. Tell Mrs Pandora I can- not digest cold lunch ; must have a broiled kidney, and some Lea nud Porrina' sauce My sheets were damp Inst night-must have a bed warmer this


Bang went the door, as Mrs Handslip finished and went ont. with Buttons at hor hcols, screwing his knuckles first into ono oye and then into tho other, as if ho were drilling holes for potatoes.

Mrs Pandora heaved a sigh of relief when she heard the door oloso. Fixing her eyes on Cupid and Venus,

she wont on

" That painted Jezebel 1 You want throwing from the window : more of you would be found than there was of Ahab's wife, for your tongue would never be swallowed by tho street scavengers. Well, you will soon be gone. I pity Littleheart ; yot ho has played tho fool. Ogling, ogling, ogling each other for months, till 1 see the two in my slcop ogling. Pugh 1 pugh 1 tho shameless woman, to go on so. Ah 1 they are well matched-a oase of diamond cut diamond. Thoy hnvo arranged tho matter themselves, so ought

to bo satisfied with results."

Yes, so it was ; Mr Littlcheart hod proposed, and Psyohe had accepted. Lyndhurst hod worked the mutter with consummate skill, Ho saw how things wcro ; g na« cd and worked Littlehcart. His aim was to get his sister-in-law bound hand and foot-out of tho way, out of thc house, off his hand. Ho saw that Littlohoart singlo, and Littleheart married, wore two different porstms ; here ho was right. Lyndhurst wanted freedom in his actions; this lie could not get as long as tho widow hove abovo and around his path. Marriage was the Ohubb's lock-tho drawbridge of separation-the portcullis of protection from, his onemy Psyche ; so he worked daily with each. He gave Littloheart to understand his inamorata had money ; to Psyche, that her Cupid was an easy-going

married man.

Ono day Psyche said, " Would Littloheart make a

settlement ?"

" Oh yes," responded tho B.A., " that's all right." Then, sett o euee, u Settlement of his own' carcase ; a weighty £ s. d."

So between each not of ogling, Lyndhurst used the oiled foather, and at last Littlehonrt's little heart beonmo enlarged, swelled,' oponed, and - took - Mrs Psyoho Handslip to his bosom, until a quantity of rouge was loft on his lips-tho emblem of their pockets.

" Oh 1 I have got you ; a noodlo I can manage," spoke the widow to herself in her own room, immedi- ately after Littleheart declared himself.

" Now for ease and comfort, my widow. After the marriage you can die as soon as you Uko, that is if you .commenco to kick over the traces. If you aro dooilo -well, your money will oovor all other dofloienoies."

So somo few months after Hebe's room was broken into, Mrs Psyohe Handslip became Mrs Psycho Littlo- heart. i . -

" Now," said Lyndhurst, rubbing his hands immedi- ately after tho marringa ooromoiiy was performed. " Now, I havo only Do Wort to fear, and I think ho has cleared out, I gave a hint to tho detectives, but thoy cannot get a trace ; so ho must have gone off to America. Well, I will try another move rogarding that